1. |
Recession
02:48
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This place created me
And it was cruel
I thought they hated me
So I fell apart
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2. |
Proliferate
08:57
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All the thoughts inside
Spread their branches wide
Roots in a blighted soil
Constantly collide
And I wanna know if it’s true
And when I hear whispers, they come from you
Wiring twisted and frayed
I’m scared of what you’ll never say
Anxiety won’t let me be
It wasn’t happening anyway
And I wish I didn’t feel like an other
And I wanna know this too, but where do I start?
All dark thoughts inside
Carve their branches wide
Roots in this blighted earth
Constantly collide
And so I’ve let the mind go
The darkness of ego in control
And I think I already know
That I’ve let you slip away
And I don’t know who I am
I feel self itself fading away
And I don’t know
And I don’t know
And I don’t
I think I’m lost
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3. |
Attachment and Aversion
08:59
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Sleepy mornings, night refuses to end
Newly free we’re going anywhere the road bends
Call it wasting the days, do you think we give a damn?
No future that we’re thinking of, life is better without plans
We’re fleeing marshes
And we’re losing time
So I avert my eyes
Absent mind, oh absent eyes
Absent mind
I spend the summer days pretending
I’ll make it last somehow
And the thought of this ending
Makes me miss the now
And we’re losing time
Attached to moments
Absent mind, oh absent eyes
Afraid of futures unwritten
And all these things that I’m missing
Attached to all aversions
Absent mind
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4. |
Yoko Taro
04:48
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Sit in filth and I’ll eat it too
Without a thought I’ll fill my plate with food
And then it’s all gone in an instant
I had a chance to look, but I missed it
Sinking deeper into my computer chair
I watch the people coming in downstairs
But I’m not like them I’m so sedentary
Their world is mindless and I’m a visionary
But it’s just insecurity
I need to prove you’re not as good as me
I’m distanced for my self esteem because
It’s not as high as it may seem
Anxiety makes me compare myself to you
And drown in all the things that I will never do
And it feels as if I’m years behind
And catching up is always hard, I find
Need validation, ‘cause I guess I lack the strength
I will not listen but I’ll keep you at arm’s length
I just can’t accept that life’s alright
I’m close to happy, but not quite
But it’s just insecurity
I need to prove you’re not as good as me
I’m distanced for my self esteem because
It’s not as high as it may seem
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5. |
Disrupt
07:02
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The pieces severed, all the lights expose unreadiness
The peace of heaven, all alone try and fail again
And still I toil with fragments
I can’t make life from them
I’m feeling empty, every night I dig some more
The pieces missing, what’s the point with nobody there
It’s so much easier to know it’s been cast aside
I find myself in changing times
And as I’ve gained a voice, the words will not form
And taking time means it’s never done
I choose to leave the child: cast it aside
Living in peace
I know I’ve never failed, never tried
Never again
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6. |
Anguish
17:50
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The winter cut the line
Days are wasted, failed to
Walk, survive, recover, thrive
Martyr for a life I never planned for
Others pass me by
Imposter
Nothing comes of this
I have no effect
I fake it all
And floods rain down
And floods rain down
I just need to rest
Rest alone
I’ll just be here
Alone in my room with regret
There’s never a sign, I’ve made up my mind
Send along, digital friend
Sunset hair brings the new
It all falls through
But then I see you
As spring breaks through the thaw
We reminisce
Altered state to help us
Talk like this
We both felt the same then but never knew till now
We don’t have to wait it out, what will we both allow
Eyes shift self perception, the code I meant to break
As daylight drains from false suns that shine for you
The warm glow casts our shadows, cutting through
Grown so cold from waiting, on silent summer nights, cease to pretend
To be the third one, always meant to fail, beginning marks the end
It all collides
I dreamed of wasting away with you and the sun-stained waves
I wanted to be held
And I saw a way out in her
And all the stars at night
Out of context, we were alright
I never liked myself
But she made me second guess the things I felt
And I felt… I felt at ease with her
I could tell her how things really were
I’m sorry I let you down, my friend
I didn’t mean to be so selfish in the end
I thought I did it to survive
And part of me thought you’d sympathize
But now I know it’s over
Acceptance earns no closure
And I don’t deserve it from either of you
I’ll just be here, alone in my room
With my regret and anguish again
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7. |
Island Line
05:02
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The water turns to night
Another two miles to go
Adirondacks merge with sky
The gentle breeze alone
And I can’t believe I’ve made it here alone
The midday rush arrives
They carve reflections into blue
I pass the factory on my right
The summer starts anew
And I can’t believe I’ve made it on my own
My shoes sink into sand
I rest under the wood pavillion
I stare across the lake and see
The steps among the millions
And I can’t believe I’ve made it here alone
I’m changing with the seasons
The water turns to night
Another mile to go
Adirondacks merge with sky
The gentle breeze alone
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8. |
Meditation
07:00
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9. |
Summer
04:15
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Everything is within reach
With what I’m missing, I’m at peace
And every day is spent at ease
And every moment distantly
Summer, so long
Renewing a newfound faith in me,
I have faith in the journey
I’m mindful of changes, I’m mindful of yearning
Nothing was wasted, it was just learning
It’s like I’ve come home
From a place far away
I’ve never felt so safe
Staying awake
Summer, so long
Nothing looks quite the same
I notice details at rest
The colors all start to shout
With intent
Nothing looks quite the same
I notice details and fragments
Sensations start to get loud
Without end
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10. |
Mudita
06:29
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Here we are
Like we used to be
Again with you
Two points converge
Edge of new life
We’ll all grow old
Nowhere, somewhere
We cry, ego dies
And green colors the breathing silence
And I know, we’ll all grow old
Said you do
You said it too
Open to collective
Disappear entirely
And love covers the silent ego
And I know, we’ll all grow old
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11. |
Apeirodidact
05:18
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12. |
Impermanence
09:42
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There’s nothing to explain
The heatwave calls me back to Earth tonight
But then I’ve found its place, surroundings start to fade
Front row to the mind
I’m drifting in and out
I’m several lives ago and then returned
It’s like this even now
A point so far beyond the start somehow
And all the joy
And all the fear
Will disappear
It’s taken far too long
To tell the story
It happens once again
And yet I carry on
And keep remembering
There’s so much still unsaid
A house just past the pines
Is where it started
I wanted to create
It feels so far away
The memory’s fading
I miss the lake, I miss my home
And all you shape
And all you take
Crumbles and fades all away
Could be today
Don’t be afraid
‘cause all the time
We give away
Will turn to ash
And the love
And the pain
So impermanent
May all your fear disappear
Let it bring you here
To know your truth
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Pseudospace Massachusetts
Independent composer, multi-instrumentalist and producer from Massachusetts. Likes the Lydian mode.
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